Being a mom is a beautiful thing. I am the happy recipient of slobbery kisses, goofy grins, and squeals of delight. I have the privilege of watching my children experience new things, grasp the wonders of language, and revel in the love for and from their Daddy. Despite these lovely things, life right now is hard. I find myself daily encroached in a challenge of wit, wills, and patience. I am oft-times stretched thin, unshowered, and even frenzied. Time is either my seeming enemy as the tasks of life pile up or ally when the clock announces "Nap Time!" This is a daily renewal, you see. A second chance to start things over, get my entourage rejuvenated, succumb to the barrage of kisses and snuggles, and rest.
My children have made my life beautiful. I never want my girls to think they would ever be, even in its smallest increment, unwanted. Being a mother has caused me to grow spiritually, emotionally, and in maturity so much faster than any other life event I could imagine. God knew these sweet angels were exactly what I needed to become more Christ-like. I am sanctified and humbled daily, and I am grateful. EVERY parent will fail their child, and I am no exception. I deeply desire my girls know that the faults in my parenting are my own sin, and not the fault of a beautiful child entrusted to my care. Children don't ruin your life, they fill it up, and leave it gushing to overflowing.
I would not trade the trials and beauty of my life for any other. My children are my greatest task, and my dear sweet husband my best friend. My cup is filled and the joys of motherhood blemish out the difficulties. [Post: Motherhood is a blessing!]
Eliana is almost sixteen months and is becoming quite a proficient talker as far as toddler babble goes. In the morning we are heralded awake with an exuberant shout of "MamMy!" Shortly followed by a "Daddy, Daddy, mmmmmhmmm." Meaning, "Mommy, come get me and take me to my Daddy, I want to see if he is still home (and not at work). [And now in a Southern Drawl] Mmmmmmhmmmm, ain't that right." She is quick to break into a twirl to display her beauty for all to see and rushes to kiss her sisters when she deems an injury (either physical or emotional) besets them.
Camelia is our great love and tease. She enjoys stirring up the pot, but always wants to be accepted with open arms. Her 3 year old chatter is a delight to hear with her slurs and awkward explanations. She is a storyteller and a absolute delight to hear singing a story to us, often about a crocodile shopping and riding the escalator or some other ridiculousness. She is athletic, energetic, and the quintessential preschooler with her chubby cheeks, goofy run, and precocious view on life and people in and outside of her sphere of knowledge. A delightful afternoon for our Melly-mouse would be "having fwends over and having a big cewebwation! With cupcakes-- Yay!!"
Gilana is terribly fancy. Just like her heroine, "Fancy Nancy," Gigi is an artist, a lover of learning, words, order, organization, and ribbons. Definitely ribbons. I have a jar of ribbons which is often ambushed, then strewn about the house and tied, knotted, whatever, to everything. This girl is a no joke decorator. She loves to make fancy happen where ever fancy can happen. I am sure she would deck out the interior of the fridge if I let the girl. She will promptly announce if she deems something to be "redunculous" (which I love!) and has quite a few opinions on quite a few things. Being rather OCD, Gigi expects things to be a certain way and can't rest (quite literally) until things are rectified to her pleasure. Gilana enjoys mopping, vacuuming, baking, making her bed, and will happily go and "make her room fancy" upon request.
A couple days ago I was changing Ellie's diaper and found a bit of a rash. I told Els, "I'll just let you air out for a bit, Babes." Gilana, hot on the trail of Fancy, exclaimed to Ellie, "That's French for, you get to be naked!" At this, Ellie and Gigi jumped up and started dancing. Camelia, hearing the commotion, rushed in and cried, "I want to be naked, too!" Oh bother. The cuteness just keeps intensifying!
As our family expands (or initially, as I expand!) I want to keep perspective on the things that make life so exceptionally beautiful. I am not a amazing mother, I loose my temper, I falter and slip in my resolve to be a gentle and patient influence over my girls. I am so grateful for some ladies in my life (moms more experienced, and quite honestly, holier than me) who encourage me in word and deed to strive on and make every day a fresh start. God makes no mistakes in entrusting one family to one child and another with four (4!). I am overwhelmed with grace and want so desperately to deserve the blessing of my family, but I cannot. I simply fall to my knees in gratefulness and awe at the task set before me and pray for grace, help, and the ability to do my task with an eternal focus.
Yes, in mid July, we will have a baby! This certainly is a beautiful, wonderful, miraculous life!
May God bless you with every good and perfect gift.
Psalm 139:13-16
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
"Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse in to the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into it's soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her." -JR Miller
